Stuff you should read


Posted on Monday 26 February 2007

So yesterday I went to the AUC to hear Seymor Hersh speak. I must say I had only heard of the man in passing, and knew that he was the guy who broke out the Abu Gharib story, but beyond that I had no prejudices going in. And then I read who was presenting him, and those Prejudices went right out of the window. You see, the man was brought to us by the Heikal foundation for Journalism, as in Mohamed Hassanein Heikal. For those unfamiliar with the man, he wrote the book on crony journalism and regime propaganda. This is the man who crafted the image of Nasser for the egyptian people for over almost 2 decades, creating and crafting his personality cult, and then spent the rest of his days as an advisor, a writer, and occasionally a weapon's dealer. But in essence, he is an apologist for an authoratarian regime and a proagandist per excellence. So to hear mr. Hersh talking about how he is glad and optimistic regarding the future of egyptian journalism thanks to institutes such as the Heikal Foundation for Journalism, well, you can understand why I felt like crying at that moment.

However, I was immedietly distracted by the group masturbation session that followed those words as mr. Hersh started his speech. I was wowed by this man's ability to verbally give every single member of the audience a handjob. It was exactly everything they wanted to hear and nothing more. Simply amazing. This is a man who knows his audience and how exactly to bullshit them. For example, he mentioned- with the disclaimer that he has no proof of this- that the UN owed Iraq approx. 9 billion dollars for Oil sales in escrow, which was later on claimed by the US government when it took over Iraq and then simply dissappeared and vanished. He of course has no proof or sources to confirm this, but his audience is not one that needs proof in such matters. After all, we live for this shit.

What was slightly surprising was how pro-Shia the man was (the man apparently could see no harm coming from Iran, syria or hezbollah), which was later on explained to me in the context that this man is a member of the new Left, and the new left believes that any enemy of the USA is a good person and needs to be supported, because the USA is a very bad and naughty country. But the dude was stretching thing a little bit. I mean when he decribed the March 14th movement as "The US backed Sunni dominated Seniora government" I started heaving, but when he described  Hezbollah as "a member of an opposition coalition with Christian catholics" I knew I was in the presence of greatness. This is a man who could distort shit so well that he could disprove gravity. And just so you know, the US is backing a "Fitnah" amongst muslims that is trying to get sunnis to fight the Shias, who apparently before the US moved into Iraq never fought before. Oh yeah, and it's all the saudis fault. If you removed the Saudis and the americans, the region would be peacefull with rainbows, butterflies and choclate springs sprouting all over. It's not like the Iranians are equiping shia militias in Iraq, financing Hezbollah in Lebanon,  trying to detsabalize the government of Bahrain and occupies part of the UAE. Not gonna mention that, no way. The Iranians are cool after all, because they hate the US.

You know, I am willing to listen and accept his version of how the americans are to blame for everything in the middle-east if he would just mention the other asshole players and assign them blame as well. I mean, yeah, the sunnis are asshole extremist fanatics and Saudi is filled with crazy wahabi and mutawaeen, but so are the Shia, and Iran has the religious police and almost executed a girl for killing someone who wanted to rape her. Yet somehow, in Hersh's world view, what Iran does is not a problem, the Saudis are. After all, they are cozy with the US. Dude, this is the middle east. The devil's asshole. Everybody here is guilty. We all have blood on our hands. Sunnis and Shia. Christians and Jews. Arabs and Persians. It's just how things are around here, and it's not gonna change if the Saudis ran out of Oil or the US lost its power and status. Sorry. Any undergrad Junior International Affairs or middle-eastern studies student will tell you that it's a tad more complicated than that. But not as far as mr. Hersh is concerned.

All in all, it was lovely. People had the same blank happy look on their faces that they had after watching Fehrenheit 9/11. They didn't come up with anything new, just everything they have believed and heard a thousand times before just rehashed and repackaged and told to them by an anti-Israeli jew. And, after all, in a country like Egypt, the moral authority of anti-israeli jew is absolute.

So yeah, it was a fun hour. I love me a good bullshit artist. Maybe that's why I always had a soft spot for Bill Clinton. He was, after all, the master of Bullshit artistry! However, if you are not a critical thinker, you left this place with the satisfied face and shit-eating grin of someone who just got exactly what he wanted and expected, faith rewarded. Good for you. Keep it up. Your world will always be a simple one.

Lucky you! 

The Sandmonkey @ 3:43 pm
Filed under: A.P.U. andGRRRR andReporting andstuff you should read
Did Nawal el Seadawy escape Egypt?

Posted on Monday 26 February 2007

There are rumors floating around that Nawal el Seadawy, the prominent egyptian femenist, had escaped Egypt to Belgium and then the US after she was charged with dsidain for religions. She denies it, from Belgium, and says that she is just being a visiting professor in the US for the next 6 months or so. She did, however, mention that she was feeling disgusted due to the charges levelled against her and the silence of the egyptian intellegnsia towards them. It's all very weird. Let's just say that since there is a case pending against her, if she didn't escapeEgypt, then she left at a very opprutune timing!

The Sandmonkey @ 1:14 pm
Filed under: Egypt andOnly in Egypt andRetardedness
Darling you’ve got to let me know

Posted on Monday 26 February 2007

Should I stay or should I go!

The Sandmonkey @ 1:03 pm
Filed under: Artsy andCool andPolitics
Follow up

Posted on Monday 26 February 2007

Just to make things clear, when I wrote that previous post, I was doing nothing but venting my frustration. Next thing you know, I have like numerous ideas, suggestions and offers- ranging from the absured, funny, creepy to the incredibly generous- from the world over. I would like to thank you all for them. I had no idea how many options I have. It's good to have options. Makes one feel better.

So yeah, Thank you very much, especially to those who sent me e-mails. I am definately replying to y'all today!

The Sandmonkey @ 12:50 pm
Filed under: personal
Buy Britney’s cut Hair

Posted on Sunday 25 February 2007

If you're a retard with a million dollars to spare.

(Wow, that rhymed! Watch out world, I am the next Bubba Sparxx! Should I continue? " you would also get a Bic lighter so blue, and a can of red bull too. wohhoooooo. Middle-East side. Cairo, WHAT????")

The Sandmonkey @ 11:34 am
Filed under: Crazy people andRetardedness andcelebs
Leave Egypt, to where exactly?

Posted on Sunday 25 February 2007

I received lots of e-mails and comments asking me to leave Egypt after the Abdel Karim sentencing. Ehh, ok, to where exactly? To the US, where the employers and the immigration laws are inventing new ways every day to fuck me over? To Canada or Australia, where any application for immigration would cost money I don't have and at least one year in waiting time? Or should I go for a gulf country, where alcohol, or youtube and flickr are banned? Where to go people?  Any ideas? I am open for any realistic ones. And no, going to Mexico, crossing the border and then telling the police if they catch me that my name is Javier is not a realistic solution.

Any suggestions? 

The Sandmonkey @ 8:30 am
Filed under: Interactiveness andpersonal
Egyptian spy pleads not guilty

Posted on Sunday 25 February 2007

He also says that his confession came after he was tortured. I believe it.

I love his story though, as it is told through the egyptian media. They say that he is a homosexual, apostate, christian convert, zionist spy! Yeah, defend that!

The Sandmonkey @ 8:14 am
Filed under: Only in Egypt andThe JOOOZ
Biking militants explode

Posted on Sunday 25 February 2007

Now this is the kind of story that puts a smile on my face in the morning!

The Sandmonkey @ 8:05 am
Filed under: Iraq andRetardedness
Adjusting to the new laws

Posted on Sunday 25 February 2007

If you are feeling aparnoid, you can start blogging using a proxy like this one. Me? They probably know who I am already. No point in doing that myself!

The Sandmonkey @ 7:45 am
Filed under: technical
My PJM piece on Abdel Karim is up

Posted on Friday 23 February 2007

Here it is!

The Sandmonkey @ 5:20 pm
Filed under: Linkity love andcauses andshameless self-promotion
Breaking news: Abdel Karim gets sentenced

Posted on Thursday 22 February 2007

4 years in jail. 3 years for disdain for religions and 1 year for insulting the president. I am on my way back from there right now. I will have a report up in PJM and will be on BBC's world have your say talkin about it. Stay tuned! 

The Sandmonkey @ 4:58 pm
Filed under: causes andshameless self-promotion
Palestinians arrested for plotting attacks in Sinai

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

Over 23 arrested. Egyptians and Palestinians. Amongst which a palestinian who got arrested wearing an explosive belt. The idea seems to be attacking israeli tourists in Egypt, possibly killing egyptians in the process. Doesn't matter, right? All in the name of the cause, right? What's a little terrorism between brother countries, right?

I hate this region! 

The Sandmonkey @ 11:56 pm
Filed under: Egypt andJihady Fucks andPalestinians andWTF?
Egyptian Policeman faces military tribunal

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

..for refusing to guard the Israeli embassy!

A military tribunal for a policeman, who isn't part of the military. What??? 

If you can figure out how the crazy people who run this country think, please let me know.  

The Sandmonkey @ 10:15 am
Filed under: Only in Egypt
The Sunni women’s rape case in Iraq

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

This story is all kinds of messed up. A sunni woman comes out and accuses 3 members of the iraqi secuirty forces of raping her, so the sunnis get outraged of course and demand an investigation. "US backed" Prime Minister Al Malki reaction: Fire the Sunni official who demanded the investigation, issue an arrest warrant for the woman and plans to reward the men. Even if the woman lied about the rape, which is Malki's excuse for his actions, something just ain't right here!

The Sandmonkey @ 10:09 am
Filed under: Iraq andIslam andWTF? andWomen
The Edwards-Pendagon affair

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

I don't know if you have been following this, but here is Marcotte's side of things. Amazingly, everything bad that happend to her is still because of sexist men who can't handle a world where a woman as (insert fabolous adjective here) as her exists and prospers. Some things never change, I guess!

The Sandmonkey @ 10:02 am
Filed under: American politics andFunny andLinkity love
MB blogs

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

a round-up here!

The Sandmonkey @ 9:59 am
Filed under: Linkity love
The anti-secularist campaign in Egypt starts

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

….altough I am not sure it has ever stopped. Anyway, it has found its posterboy here!

The Sandmonkey @ 9:57 am
Filed under: Only in Egypt
Putin is a Judo Blackbelt

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007

Watch him in action!

The Sandmonkey @ 9:55 am
Filed under: Cool andCrazy people andPolitics
Obama quits smoking..

Posted on Wednesday 21 February 2007 the middle of a presidential campaign. Yeah, cause that will work!

The Sandmonkey @ 9:54 am
Filed under: American politics
In the name of America, the most merciful…

Posted on Monday 19 February 2007

Ok, I think this is crazy Egyptians' week or something. I present to you the story of Dr. Gaber Mohamed Al Gazar, the professor of foreign trade in the Univeristy of Helwan. This man started his lecture last Thursday with writing the day's date on the Blackboard, and instead of writing the usual "In the name of Allah, the most merciful, the most gracious" line, he wrote "In the name of America the great". When the students asked him why he had written that, he told them to not ask him direct questions, but instead write him their questions in pieces of paper and hand them to him. Naturally the majority of the students asked him what his religion was, and he responded by saying that he believes America to be his god, and americanism to be his religion and he wishes to be able to worship the US every day. When the students tried to leave, he wouldn't let them out and had the doors of the hall closed. Naturally, after the class was over, 64 of his students filed a complaint against him with the school.

Friday morning, the man was sent to a mental institution. He is in it till today!

The Sandmonkey @ 3:15 pm
Filed under: Only in Egypt