Stuff you should read

The inevtiable conclusion to Teddy Mo part 2

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007


The Mohamed Teddy Bear..for sale on E-bay, and comes with this warning:

For sale due to a change in the school curriculum.

Mo is a delightful little bear who all children would love, but not some adults.

Condition: As new, but by time of delivery may have 40 scratch marks on back.

Oh man! We are never gonna hear the end of this!

The Sandmonkey @ 7:37 pm
Filed under: Hmmm... andjust plain wrong
The Plate Flipper

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

For those of you who might want to prevent someone from seeing your plate numbers or would like to deliver a message to a lawman chasing your speeding criminal ass, I present you with the Plate Flipper:

Would sell well in Egypt probably!

The Sandmonkey @ 7:33 pm
Filed under: Cool
The inevtiable conclusion to Teddy Mo

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

In response to the latest ruling ..Dan Savage..the known gay sex-columnist…ehh…mouthes off:

Gee, sentenced to be deported. You’re really twisting the ol’ knife there, Sudan.
No doubt after being arrested on a bullshit blasphemy charge,
threatened with forty lashes and six months in prison, and then packed
off to a prison for two weeks where she’s likely to encounter physical
violence and may just contract malaria—I’m sure after enduring all that, Sudan, remaining in your shithole country was Gibbons’ fondest wish.

This whole mess cries out for a Teddy Roosevelt. Enough with the
“expressions of displeasure” from the diplomats. Someone in the British
government needs to deliver a “Perdicaris alive or Raisuli dead!” speech on Gibbons’ behalf. And mean it.

Before I go home tonight I’m going to pop across the street to the
new Crypt, buy myself a buttplug, and name the fucking thing Mohammed.

The Sandmonkey @ 7:29 pm
Filed under: Hmmm... andRetardedness
Rice is retarded

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

She tries to do an off the cuff speech on the Palestinian Israeli conflict, tries to make a comparison between Black segregation history and israelis and palestinians, and ends up, in her attempts to make everyone happy, completely offending both sides.

Meanwhile, Rice, speaking after Livni, reflected on
her childhood in the segregated South and said it allowed her to better
understand both sides of the Israel-Palestinian conflict.


She told delegates that when a local church was
bombed by white separatists, four girls were killed, including one of
her classmates.

"Like the Israelis, I know what it is like to go to sleep at
night, not knowing if you will be bombed, of being afraid to be in your
own neighborhood, of being afraid to go to your church," she said.

She added, however, that as a black child in the South,
forbidden to use certain water fountains and shunned from certain
restaurants, she was also in a good position to understand the feelings
of the Palestinians.

"I know what it is like to hear to that you cannot go on a road
or through a checkpoint because you are Palestinian," she said. "I
understand the feeling of humiliation and powerlessness."

Oh..OK.. So, the Israelis are both the white segregationists and the black Bomb victims, and the Palestinians are the segregated blacks and the white supremacist bomb makers. Is that your point? So..ehh..ok..hmm..oh..I get are trying to say they are both black, and thus victims? Or is it that they are both white, and thus assholes? I am sorry, I am lost here. I am sorry. I just don't speak Rice!

The Sandmonkey @ 7:23 pm
Filed under: American politics andIsrael andPalestinians
The Mo Teddy Photo Essay

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

 So, this old british teacher lady decided one day to have her kids vote on naming a Teddy Bear…

 …which the kids decided to name "Mohamed"…..

 Which pissed off all of those people to the point of asking for her head…


 …and got her coward of a Boss to fire her ass and say he had nothing to do with her…


 ..and managed to get her 15 days in jail and a deportation sentencing (instead of 40 lashes mind you) , all because she asked kids to name a teddy bear… you will all forgive me when I find it kind of hard to to believe, that this Teddy bear is part of some plot to insult Islam and make muslims look bad..


 …when Muslims always manage to do such a fantastic job all on their own!

Just trying to give credit where credit is due y'all!

PS: apologies for using this photo essay- which will probably insult the intelligence of many readers of this blog- to try to make my point. After watching this unfold for the past few days I've come to the conclusion that there are for more retarded people in the world then I ever imagined, so I figured a simplified photo essay with not too many words might just do the trick. Gotta reach out to them, man, they are too many to kill. Unless we remove the safety warnings off of everything and have the problem work itself out. Ahh, one can only dream!  

The Sandmonkey @ 6:37 pm
Filed under: Assholes andReasoning andRetardedness
Bush’s entourage

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

Every time he travels, this is who and what he takes with him:

Not fucking around, is he? 

The Sandmonkey @ 6:17 pm
Filed under: American politics andBush
Understanding Suicide-bombing through Halo 3

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

An interesting perspective:

Whenever I find myself under attack by a wildly superior player, I
stop trying to duck and avoid their fire. Instead, I turn around and
run straight at them. I know that by doing so, I'm only making it
easier for them to shoot me — and thus I'm marching straight into the
jaws of death. Indeed, I can usually see my health meter rapidly
shrinking to zero.

But at the last second, before I die, I'll whip out a sticky plasma
grenade — and throw it at them. Because I've run up so close, I almost
always hit my opponent successfully. I'll die — but he'll die too, a
few seconds later when the grenade goes off. (When you pull off the
trick, the game pops up a little dialog box noting that you killed
someone "from beyond the grave.")

It was after pulling this maneuver a couple of dozen times that it
suddenly hit me: I had, quite unconsciously, adopted the tactics of a
suicide bomber — or a kamikaze pilot.

It's not just that I'm willing to sacrifice my life to kill someone
else. It's that I'm exploiting the psychology of asymmetrical warfare.

Because after all, the really elite Halo players don't want
to die. If they die too often, they won't win the round, and if they
don't win the round, they won't advance up the Xbox Live rankings. And
for the elite players, it's all about bragging rights.

I, however, have a completely different psychology. I know I'm the underdog; I know I'm probably going to get killed anyway. I am never going to advance up the Halo 3 rankings, because in the political economy of Halo, I'm poor.

Specifically, I'm poor in time. The best players have
dozens of free hours a week to hone their talents, and I don't have
that luxury. This changes the relative meaning of death for the two of
us. For me, dying will not penalize me in the way it penalizes them,
because I have almost no chance of improving my state. I might as well
take people down with me.

Or to put it another way: The structure of Xbox Live creates a world
composed of two classes — haves and have-nots. And, just as in the
real world, some of the disgruntled have-nots are all too willing to
toss their lives away — just for the satisfaction of momentarily
halting the progress of the haves. Since the game instantly resurrects
me, I have no real dread of death in Halo 3.

But before you get all outraged.. 

I do not mean, of course, to trivialize the ghastly, horrific impact
of real-life suicide bombing. Nor do I mean to gloss over the
incredible complexity of the real-life personal, geopolitical and
spiritual reasons why suicide bombers are willing to kill themselves.
These are all impossibly more nuanced and perverse than what's
happening inside a trifling, low-stakes videogame.

But the fact remains that something quite interesting happened to me because of Halo.
Even though I've read scores of articles, white papers and books on the
psychology of terrorists in recent years, and even though I have (I
think) a strong intellectual grasp of the roots of suicide terrorism,
something about playing the game gave me an "aha" moment that I'd never
had before: an ability to feel, in whatever tiny fashion, the strategic logic and emotional calculus behind the act.

I get what he is talking about. Do you? 

The Sandmonkey @ 5:52 pm
Filed under: Hmmm... andReasoning
Wisdom of the Day

Posted on Friday 30 November 2007

"What is to give light must endure burning."  – Viktor Frankl

That is all! 

The Sandmonkey @ 5:01 pm
Filed under: Hmmm...
Marry an Israeli man, lose your egyptian nationality

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

Mofeed Shehab, the government's minister for legal and administrative affairs, has just clarified an important legal issue when it comes to Egyptian women: If they are married to an Israeli, and they have kids, the kids do not get the egyptian nationality, unlike their counterparts with Fathers from other countries. Why? Well, because, apparently, if they are married to an Israeli male, their egyptian nationality will be immediately dropped by the egyptian government. The same can not be said of egyptian males married to Israeli women, who continue to retain their nationality rights and their kids do get egyptian passports, even though their mothers are Jewish. Why? well, because we are retarded sexist pigs of course. Thought you knew.

However, egyptian women married to Israeli men shouldn't fret about being alone in the "Marry this man and your kids won't get a passport" category, because they are not. There is one other exception to this law, one other nationality that if our women get hitched to, their kids won't get an egyptian passport or nationality, and that's the Palestinians. In our own special way, we are making those two equals.

Nice, heh? 

The Sandmonkey @ 6:06 am
Filed under: Egypt andIsrael andWTF? andWomen
Actual Sabaya advertisement Poster

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

This is the real deal. The marketing poster of the Cafe/ Beautysalon that bans christians and non-Hijabi women :


Does anybody else love the fact that it's called the "Veiled beauty center"? 

The Sandmonkey @ 5:50 am
Filed under: Assholes andOnly in Egypt andWTF? andWomen andjust plain wrong
The Teddy Bear Lady charged in Sudan

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

For inciting religious hatred. See, I told you , you can't name a cuddly toy after our Prophet without us getting mad at you. But what's really amusing is the school's response:

Several Sudanese newspapers ran a statement Tuesday reportedly from the
school, saying the administration "offers an official apology to the
students and their families and all Muslims for what came from an
individual initiative." It said Gibbons had been "removed from her work
at the school."

While despicable, I believe the school's action is understandable: They don't want to get killed, especially not over a freaking Teddy Bear, and in Sudan, especially in this case, that's actually a possibility. Would you wanna lose your life because of a Teddy Bear political crisis? 

And of course, no such crisis could take place without someone screaming the words "conspiracy" or "plot", right? Well, let's scan the news report, yada yada yada, ohh, there we go:

Although Khartoum officials played down the case and said it was an
isolated incident, Sudan's top clerics said in a statement Wednesday
that the full measure of the law should be applied against Gibbons,
calling the incident part of a broader Western "plot" against Islam.

HA. TOLD YOU SO. Allright. Ok. On Familiar grounds once again.

The Sudanese clerics said this was blasphemy and believed it was intentional.

"What has happened was not haphazard or carried out of ignorance, but
rather a calculated action and another ring in the circles of plotting
against Islam," the Sudanese Assembly of the Ulemas said the statement.

"It is part of the campaign of the so-called war against terrorism and the intense media campaign against Islam," they said.

So, naming a Teddy Bear Mohamed in a classroom for 7 year old's is part of the war on terror? It's connected to the Media campaign against Islam? Really? Well, if it's a plot and it involved the media and Islam, then the Jooz must also be behind it. Those damn Joooz.

Seriously though, I think someone is suffering from a heatstroke over there!

The Sandmonkey @ 5:46 am
Filed under: Assholes andIslam andMiddle East andRetardedness
Looking for a distraction

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

With the polls showing that his Dec 2nd vote might not come as easy as the previous ones, Hugo Chavez has been trying to pick a fight with anyone in order to get the people rallying around him, and he is ending up looking more like a Buffoon with every passing minute. First he has a spat with Spain , then he cuts off relationships with Colombia and with both not working, he is trying to create some sort of political crisis against the US in the last minute. It's pretty obvious and pathetic, and would only work on retards, so chances are it's gonna work on the idiots who voted him in for the past 9 years.

But you never know… 

For fantastic analysis on what's going on there, I highly recommend Daniel's blog. 

The Sandmonkey @ 5:28 am
Filed under: Crazy people andsocialist scum
StreetFighter: The Later Years

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

If you were a fan of the original game, and I was, you will love CollegeHumor's take on where the StreetFighter Characters are now, 10 years later. The Trailer is here . The Webisodes are here! It's freakin hilarious!

The Sandmonkey @ 5:12 am
Filed under: Cool andFunny andsilly
Sandmonkey Wisdom: 29/11/2007

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

When dealing with people who have hair-trigger tempers, it's entirely advisable not to walk on eggshells around them, because eventually, sooner or later, they will lose it and throw their ever so expected and vintage hissy-fit. A better way to deal with things is to NOT walk on eggshells and actively engage in screaming matches with them for the following 3 reasons: 1) They sometimes fake it to get their way knowing that most people would rather back down then deal with them, so don't let them get away with it , 2) It will save you the stress of trying to placate the incredibly unreasonable and dramatic and 3) If you are gonna get yelled at anyway, you might as well engage of some yelling of your own.

Just saying.. 

The Sandmonkey @ 5:02 am
Filed under: Reasoning andpersonal
Clinton’s Spine

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

Here entire political philosophy in a nutshell!

The Sandmonkey @ 4:55 am
Filed under: American politics
The New Joker

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007


Ok..Ok.. I've had my doubts that Heath Ledger might be able to pull it off, but I see where they are going with this. Why isn't he laughing though? What's the Joker without his grin? 

The Sandmonkey @ 4:52 am
Filed under: Cool andartsy fartsy
Coming to London next week

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

My London people, I am coming over to your lovely city next week. If You want to meet up, e-mail me and let's arrange things!

The Sandmonkey @ 4:39 am
Filed under: personal
The fighting Kurd

Posted on Thursday 29 November 2007

1 Kurd, 3 turks, street fight. BADASS!

The Sandmonkey @ 4:38 am
Filed under: Sweet
No christians please part 2

Posted on Tuesday 27 November 2007

The discussion over the Sabaya cafe's decision to ban christian girls from entering it has reminded me of something that I've long forgotten: the reason why they don't allow christians in, is because Islam views non-Christian women the same as strange men. Hell, according to this Fatwa, it's not just christian women who good muslim veiled girls shouldn't be exposed to: 

If she is in the presence of trustworthy
Muslim women, her nakedness is only between her navel and knees. As for
what is above that, such as her chest, it is permissible for her to
uncover it in front of them, as often happens with nursing women. As
for if she is in the presence of:

  1. a non-Muslim woman, or
  2. a Muslim woman who is wicked through extramarital sexual intercourse (Ar. zina), or
  3. a Muslim woman who is wicked through lesbianism,

then it is not permissible for her to expose any of her body except
that which shows during work, this being: her head, neck, arms up to
the upper arms, and legs up to the knees (Tuhfa, 7.194,200). However,
it is better for her to cover herself [m: more than what is strictly
required] because a non-Muslim or wicked woman might describe her to a
man who is not permitted to look at her.

Ahh, see, there is LOGIC to it after all. If the good muslim chickas allow christian girls to see them uncoverd, the evil ungodly christians can go and tell men how the muslims girls really look like under the veil, and that could lead to…ehh..them imaging how the girls may look like under the veil. And that's just wrong. Very very bad.

Joking aside, this does have some serious conequences to me on the personal level, and for the entire country as well. The personal consequences to me has to do with my plan to change the current Image of Islam as a violent terrorism religion to the old image of Islam of it being just a sexist misogynistic one. There used to be a time, not long ago, when people would react to my revelation to them that I am a muslim with "Islam? Isn't that the religion where a man can have 4 wives?" instead of the current "Islam, isn't that the religion where people just blow shit up?" response, and I believe we can bring those days back again. We just have to market it right, and I figured the best way to do it is to flaunt the islamic perk of having more than one wife at a time by putting a 21st century spin on it. Something along the lines of "Islam, the religion of threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes", you know? Cause what's the point of having two wives if you can't have threesomes, right? But, unfortunately, according to this Fatwa, the muslim women can not be naked in front of non-msulim women or women with lesbian tendencies, so that plan is all shot to shit. Can you imagine if that wasn't the case? Men all over the world would be converting like that!

And as far the implication to us as a good ole isalmic society, one has to realize that this means that the majority of women are sinning without even knowing, and some of them who do know can't even help it. Just think about it: Female Bathrooms and Locker-rooms. It's used by both Muslim and christian women, which means that there are many muslim girls who were described by their evil christian counterparts to strange men, because, u know, they have nothing better to do with their time. This also means that in a true Islamic society, there would have to be separate changing rooms and bathrooms for Muslim and Non-Muslim females in every sporting club, Gym, restaurant and public Place. Just imagine: A nice lil sign next to the bathroom that says "Muslims only" next to it, or "No non-muslims allowed". Yes. That's the way to do it, and until we do this we are just freakin western-wannabe heathens who don't care about the honor and modesty of our women.

On another note, can you imagine what Human rights organizations, or CAIR, would do if in a western country there was a bathroom- we are not even talking cafe here, a bathroom- with a "No Muslims allowed" or "Non-Muslims only" sign next to it?


The Sandmonkey @ 5:51 am
Filed under: Islam andReligion andRetardedness andWTF? andWomen
No Mo Bears for you

Posted on Tuesday 27 November 2007

The Sudanese authorities has foiled another  western conspiracy against Islam by arresting a British teacher who wanted to insult the Holy Prophet Mohamed. The devious lady- who must be secretly a jew-did so by taking a vote in class over the naming of a teddy bear, and asking the children to name him their most favorite name, knowing that they would all chose Mohamed. And the poor little Tykes, not knowing the grievous sin they are committing, did end up naming him that. Can you imagine a worst offense than naming a cuddly cute toy Mohamed? Our Prophet isn't cuddly. He is Fierce and strong, like Lion. Or, or, Stalin. YEAH!

Thankfully the very alert Sudanese authorities have sprung into action and arrested that evil quite-possibly-jewish zionist imperialist Islam-hating wench, who is now facing either 6 months in jail, 40 lashes or a fine. I say lash her 80 lashes and then cut off her head, for naming the teddy bear Mohamed AND for teaching the children to vote. Insulting the Prophet is bad enough, but teaching the kids the democratic process, that's just downright unforgivable!

The Sandmonkey @ 5:18 am
Filed under: Crazy people andRetardedness andWTF? andsilly